Does anybody else deal with this?

[beason]

honestly man, when she met you you were into rc, the whole time you dated you were into rc, and now that your married your into rc. its not like something you sprung on her or something. she knew you "played with toys" a long time ago, and i think its wrong for her to try to change it now, and even more wrong that you are willing to give up so easly..

i understand there are things that need to be done, but when you do them you should have free choice as to how you spend your relaxing time.


heck if theres that much work to be done, hire someone to do it!! then go "play with your toys"

 

[godale03]

Behind every good rc racer there's a long list of Honey Do's waiting to be done!






They wait until winter or a rainy day!

So you guys at least get stuck with the "list" from the wife? Do you guys ever get nagged over it?

Hey Beason... I understand what you are saying... It's just that I do love my wife, and my ever growing family. It would defintely not be an easy thing for me to walk away from, RC, but if it meant loosing my family, it would just have to go.

 

[evilgrin]

ok I got into R/C when I was a kid Now i'm married with a nine year old boy and I'm still into R/C the wife absolutly hates the fact that I play with toys as she puts it. She finds it to be a hugh waste of time and money and since we got the house my time would be better spent fixing it up or doing the odd project here and there. WE've had some massive blow outs over the whole R/C issue. I'm still running my R/C's and I'm still married, bottom line for me was it's cheaper then hanging out at the bar or the strip club or the local OTB, also gives me a chance to hangout with my kid for hours leaving her home alone with plenty of time to pamper herself or hang out with her friends.

I put my R/C's away right after college due to lack of funding at the time once I got in a better position work wise I dusted them off and started off again this caused all sorts of problems since she was also 5 months pregnant at the time, got all sorts of complaints rangeing from it cost too much your too old to be playing with toys too you don't love me anymore WHAAAA!!!! after the kid was born things got a little better but still got the dirty looks anytime I mentioned RC or looked at them for more then 10 min. when my kid was 3 I got into racing, all hell broke lose since I was gone for most of the day on sundays, got accused of having an affair and all kinds of kooky stuff. I had to pretty much drag her kicking and screaming with me to the track along with the kid to spend a family day at the track what changed here attitude was nothing I said or did it was the look on my kids face as he watched all the cars zip around the track and the little cheer he did everytime I got up on the drivers stand, I had my own lil cheering section for the entire time I was up on the stand after that day I still get the dirty looks from time to time but no more major complaints unless a new kit shows up unexpectidly.

Now I race every other weekend weather permiting and take the kid with me as often as possible for quality time.

give it time some women need to see the look on a kids face before they give in some will never give in since they find the whole affair to be childish and a waste of money better spent on them and what they consider to be important to them or what will impress their friends and family, and you playing with toys is deffinitly not it.

 

[rocknbil]

I guess I'll chime in here, being old, married, not that you are old . . . well anyway . . . .

I'm more fortunate than most, when I got my first nitro, the wife's first question was "can I have one?" She got hers soon after and it's something we actually do together.

When we have time.

That's actually my point, this summer we've gone out to play once so far. Since it's something we do together, we both sit down and say CRAP, it would be great to just fire up the nitros and go blast a few laps . . . . but just don't have time right now.

Maybe it's not a thing about the woman dictating to the guy what to do as many posts here indicate - maybe it's more of an observation she's making that you aren't seeing because you're "in it" and she's not.

 

[godale03]

Thanks Evilgrin and Rocknbil,

I would gladly include her in my RC if she would want to be a part of it. She wants no part of it.

I still get the look from time to time... but I truly think she is embarassed that I play with "toys". In fact before we were married she forbid me from playing with the RC's because she was worried what her folks and grandmother would think. Kinda got the message loud and clear. Now.. that were married she said it is ok because now that we are married, they have to except me.

 

[Timmahh]

when my ex ever whined about my spending, i just stuck her Sears bill and Visa Bill in here face. Both of which she made and i paid. We wont even get into the 30 purses and 40 pairs of shoes so she could Match for any occasion. which was usualy sitting home, as we were to broke to go do anything by the time i got done paying her montly charges. lol

kept things pretty civil for the most part. lol

 

[Monkey Wrench]

Not to belabor the point any further, but my wife is actually very cool with my R/C hobby. Having read this thread I got to thinking, "have I ever asked her if she was cool with it?"


NOPE!

And therein lies the secret, I think. I truly got into this hobby about five or six years ago. We've been married 11, so it's not like I brought this with me, but to this day, I don't recall ever asking her if it was alright to spend the money and the time doing it.

This is not to say that I am not considerate of her feelings on topics that arise in our marriage or the raising of our children. I just don't care what she thinks about my hobby or how I spend my money on my hobby. I make sure to attend to any home repair projects that require my immediate attention and those that can wait, wait. If she wants them done sooner, she knows she's going to be the one to do it, otherwise, I'll get to it when I get good and ready to get to it.

Likewise, I don't give her grief regarding her sudden and full-throttled return to her church. She never asked because, rightfully so, it's her decision and she wasn't trying to involve me. Am I happy with the actual decision? No, but, I support her wishes to return and the fact is, it's made her a happier person around the house. Her commitment to her church requires a fairly substantial amount of time over the course of a month, so when I want to go racing, there's rarely much of a discussion as to my desire to spend a Sunday at the track. I just wish the tracks around here held more races, so I had more of a choice. Just kind of sucks that the one race day a month held and it either rains like crazy or is hotter than four hells!

Bottom line, godale, it'll all work out in the end, you'll see.

 

[grgbulldog]

actually, i kinda do. except its with my parents and not a girlfriend or wife. it gets quite annoying of course. my friends also don't understand, and all i can say is, "so why do you go buy a $400 purse?"

 

[godale03]

Hey Monkey man... thanks for the input. It kinda puts things in perspective. I do understand that my family and my home come first always, everything else comes second. I wish she had something that she would involve herself into so that I didn't feel so bad when I spend the time. We are trying though. We are making compromises and working toward a solution. I am sure we will come up with something. Afterall winter is fast aproaching, and there will not be any racing, and the only time will be spent tearing down rigs and cleaning them for the winter storage. Thanks again MW for taking the time to read and let me know your thoughts on the situation. Hope things are well with you.

Tom