Bovine socio-economical viewpoints

[StrechM]

you guys have probably seen this joke before but I couldn't resist.
> > >
> > >
> > > DEMOCRAT:
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > Your neighbor has none.
> > > You feel guilty for being successful.
> > > You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you
> > > to
> > > sell one to raise money to pay the tax.
> > >
> > > The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give
> > > it to
> > > your neighbor. You feel righteous.
> > >
> > > Barbara Streisand sings for you.
> > >
> > >
> > > SOCIALIST:
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
> > > You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > ARMY:
> > >
> > > 2 perfectly good cows.
> > > Trained to the standards of the US ARMY.
> > > $100.000 dollars is spent on each cow to train them to be somewhat fluent
> > > in Arabic, Persian, and Swahili (they are now invaluable to the national security.
> > > They are well fed and put on good muscle weight.
> > > It is determined (by measuring the ankle and the forehead) that they are both now
> > > too fat and need to be immediately kicked out of the ARMY. This is great for them
> > > because they will will find a job in Qatar and work 40 hour weeks, they will wake
> > > up at 8:00 instead of 6:00 (to exercise in sub-Arctic weather) And most of all they
> > > will make more than $100.000 each a year 3 times that which they made before
> > > Moral: does it really pay to succeed?
> > > Evident problem: Todays date is 24 OCT 2003. Todays date in the ARMY:
> > > 24 OCT 1903

> > > REPUBLICAN:
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > Your neighbor has none.
> > > So?
> > >
> > > COMMUNIST:
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
> > > You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
> > >
> > > CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
> > >
> > > DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to
> > >support
> > > a
> > > man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from
> > > your
> > > government.
> > >
> > > BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you
> > > for
> > > the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.
> > >
> > > AMERICAN CORPORATION:
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
> > > You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of four cows.
> > > You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
> > > You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized
> > > and are
> > > reducing expenses.
> > > Your stock goes up.
> > >
> > > FRENCH CORPORATION:
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > You go on strike because you want three cows.
> > > You go to lunch.
> > > Life is good.
> > >
> > > JAPANESE CORPORATION:
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
> > > and
> > > produce twenty times the milk.
> > > They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
> > > Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
> > >
> > > GERMAN CORPORATION:
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
> > > excellent
> > > quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
> > > Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
> > >
> > > ITALIAN CORPORATION:
> > >
> > > You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
> > > While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
> > > You break for lunch.
> > > Life is good.
> > >
> > > RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > You count them and learn you have five cows.
> > > You have some more vodka.
> > > You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
> > > You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
> > > You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
> > > You produce your 10th, 5-year plan in the last 3 months.
> > > The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
> > >
> > > TALIBAN CORPORATION:
> > >
> > > You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
> > > You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private
> > > parts.
> > >
> > >
> > > POLISH CORPORATION:
> > >
> > > You have two bulls.
> > > Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
> > >
> > >
> > > FLORIDA CORPORATION:
> > >
> > > You have a black cow and a brown cow.
> > > Everyone votes for the best looking one.
> > > Some of the people, who like the brown one best, vote for the black
> > > one.
> > > Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people
> > > can't
> > > figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from
> > > out-of-state
> > > tell you which is the best-looking one.
> > >
> > > NEW YORK CORPORATION:
> > >
> > > You have fifteen million cows.
> > > You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you
> > > pick
> > > some dumb cow from Arkansas named Hillary.

 

[Scummer]

Haha... funny poop :ahh: